"Do not go into the bum. Stop where you are. Turn away from it. Don't even look at it."
(Poltergeist)
"A bum. Shaken, not stired."
(Goldfinger)
"You had me at 'dickings'"
(Jerry Maguire)
"But why is the dickings gone?"
(Pirates of the Carribean)
"I am serious... and don't call me God."
(Airplane!)
"I have a head for business and a God for sin."
(Working Girl)
Monday, November 13, 2006
Sunday, November 12, 2006
What Ho, Fuckers
Nah, you're all wonderful people who deserve everything you get. I just noticed I hadn't posted on the old blog in a while. My party last night was... a rareing success? There were good parts, there were bad parts and there were parts that have made me... a different person.
The good parts consisted of me meeting new people, Bo and Dean, whom are good fun. The bad parts involved people not turning up, but meh, t'was them missing out. I'd rather not talk about the last aspect of the party, just to say it was worse than bad.
I'm increasing my hours at the primary school, which will help me both with getting work experience and just general sanity. This means I'm *cough* decreasing my hours at college, again for sanitys sake.
On a seperate not, though loosly linked to "Further Education", we, as students (or otherwise) are of an age where we don't follow the same social rules as we did when we were younger. This is the case and some of you still faff about whispering secrets and sneaking about. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE ON?
Anyway, before this becomes a rant about how some of you are as immature as a bunch of kindergarten retards I will leave it at that. Have a nice one y'all.
The good parts consisted of me meeting new people, Bo and Dean, whom are good fun. The bad parts involved people not turning up, but meh, t'was them missing out. I'd rather not talk about the last aspect of the party, just to say it was worse than bad.
I'm increasing my hours at the primary school, which will help me both with getting work experience and just general sanity. This means I'm *cough* decreasing my hours at college, again for sanitys sake.
On a seperate not, though loosly linked to "Further Education", we, as students (or otherwise) are of an age where we don't follow the same social rules as we did when we were younger. This is the case and some of you still faff about whispering secrets and sneaking about. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE ON?
Anyway, before this becomes a rant about how some of you are as immature as a bunch of kindergarten retards I will leave it at that. Have a nice one y'all.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
The Mighty Battle Of Green
It's currently 4:20a.m. and I can't get to sleep for reasons more depressing than the concept of a kitten glued in front of a steamroller but now seems as good a time as any to document the daring quest of two would-be "heros".
The story begins on a typical weekday, nothing out of the ordinary at all...or so I thought. I made my way over to A's house (yes, I'm still using the "initial" system) for some gaming and fun I remembered that he had mentioned an evil plant that he had been told to conquer. I had agreed to help, thinking it be a simple task. As I made my way down the hill towards my destination my thoughts were proven VERY wrong. Before me stood a beast 16 foot in height with more natural influence over the area around it than God itself. This, I thought, was going to get tough.
I went into the house where A showed me weird and wackey things on the interweb, none of it I understood because not even he could comprehend it's vast knowledge. After a while I suggested we leave to get supplies for whatever lay ahead, trying to block the "leafy challenge" that lay in wait for us out of my mind. We ventured down to the field of Somer where we bought numerous supplies, much to A's surprise at my insane diet. We purchased them from a well known vendor whom we know as D...not V!! We headed back up to A's abode where the monsterous ivy hung ominously. We ate and drank most of our supplies (in fact I ate and drank most of my supplies) when the call of duty came upon us. We knew we had to fight...
The tools of war were given to us as we prepared for battle, neither of us knowing if we would make it back. We used a surprise entrance to the battlefield which gave us the upper hand. At first we tried a turn based system of attack against the plant, we soon realised this was geting us nowhere. I was equiped with the tiny "Cutters of Truth"(+1) which I used effectivly to clear away the bottom section of green coverage to reveal the monsters source, The Root. Little is know about The Root itself, some say it has surpassed it's pot, planting itself into the hard ground below. Others say it has made it's way under the house, plotting to break through and start it's world takeover bid. All are just hearsay and rumours, what was truely known was it had to be stopped. The upper body of the beast was cut off from it's cursed root by A with great precision and skill, leaving only The Pipe to be delt with. What is the pipe, you ask (you probably have if you've bothered to read this far), it was what the the planthad used to climb up the building all these years. It had intertwined with it so much rust and wood had become one, making a sort of "Rood" or "Wust" substance. What ever it was it would prove to be too much for us, unless we came up with a plan fast.
I headed for higher ground, knowing that it had to be tackled from both ends. This move proved useful as the branches had taken a firm hold an by cutting them loose it allowed A to start the "tug-o-war" process, ever increasingly ripping the creature away from it's suspended lair. More had to me cut and hacked until It was revealed, The Heart. The very centre of it all, the branches and vines had entwined themselves with each other and the pipe, making an enforced defence against attacks, just revealing it was a battle enough. However, not willing (or allowed) to admit defeat, we pressed on the the attack. The Heart took many cuts to remove but eventually it came loose, allowing us to take the rest of the plant with it. It lay defeated, in a mess of leaves and twigs, awaiting it's final curtain.
The clean-up isn't interesting enough to document, only mention, and myself and A went in to get our celebration on, which happened to be gaming (don't judge us).
I would like to add that I do not, and never will, condon the use of violence against either animal or plant life. In this case the builders were coming round and the area needed to be cleared. Though contry to the details given in the tale, there was no spite towards the afore mentioned plant, it was even liked as it gave the builing character, says A. I apologise if any of the content within the story has offended viewers.
Signing off: 5:30a.m. (and I still can't sleep).
The story begins on a typical weekday, nothing out of the ordinary at all...or so I thought. I made my way over to A's house (yes, I'm still using the "initial" system) for some gaming and fun I remembered that he had mentioned an evil plant that he had been told to conquer. I had agreed to help, thinking it be a simple task. As I made my way down the hill towards my destination my thoughts were proven VERY wrong. Before me stood a beast 16 foot in height with more natural influence over the area around it than God itself. This, I thought, was going to get tough.
I went into the house where A showed me weird and wackey things on the interweb, none of it I understood because not even he could comprehend it's vast knowledge. After a while I suggested we leave to get supplies for whatever lay ahead, trying to block the "leafy challenge" that lay in wait for us out of my mind. We ventured down to the field of Somer where we bought numerous supplies, much to A's surprise at my insane diet. We purchased them from a well known vendor whom we know as D...not V!! We headed back up to A's abode where the monsterous ivy hung ominously. We ate and drank most of our supplies (in fact I ate and drank most of my supplies) when the call of duty came upon us. We knew we had to fight...
The tools of war were given to us as we prepared for battle, neither of us knowing if we would make it back. We used a surprise entrance to the battlefield which gave us the upper hand. At first we tried a turn based system of attack against the plant, we soon realised this was geting us nowhere. I was equiped with the tiny "Cutters of Truth"(+1) which I used effectivly to clear away the bottom section of green coverage to reveal the monsters source, The Root. Little is know about The Root itself, some say it has surpassed it's pot, planting itself into the hard ground below. Others say it has made it's way under the house, plotting to break through and start it's world takeover bid. All are just hearsay and rumours, what was truely known was it had to be stopped. The upper body of the beast was cut off from it's cursed root by A with great precision and skill, leaving only The Pipe to be delt with. What is the pipe, you ask (you probably have if you've bothered to read this far), it was what the the planthad used to climb up the building all these years. It had intertwined with it so much rust and wood had become one, making a sort of "Rood" or "Wust" substance. What ever it was it would prove to be too much for us, unless we came up with a plan fast.
I headed for higher ground, knowing that it had to be tackled from both ends. This move proved useful as the branches had taken a firm hold an by cutting them loose it allowed A to start the "tug-o-war" process, ever increasingly ripping the creature away from it's suspended lair. More had to me cut and hacked until It was revealed, The Heart. The very centre of it all, the branches and vines had entwined themselves with each other and the pipe, making an enforced defence against attacks, just revealing it was a battle enough. However, not willing (or allowed) to admit defeat, we pressed on the the attack. The Heart took many cuts to remove but eventually it came loose, allowing us to take the rest of the plant with it. It lay defeated, in a mess of leaves and twigs, awaiting it's final curtain.
The clean-up isn't interesting enough to document, only mention, and myself and A went in to get our celebration on, which happened to be gaming (don't judge us).
I would like to add that I do not, and never will, condon the use of violence against either animal or plant life. In this case the builders were coming round and the area needed to be cleared. Though contry to the details given in the tale, there was no spite towards the afore mentioned plant, it was even liked as it gave the builing character, says A. I apologise if any of the content within the story has offended viewers.
Signing off: 5:30a.m. (and I still can't sleep).
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Caffine Induced Hell, It's The 10th Circle
I'm sitting here jittering cause of the overdose of caffine I took earlier, not literally obviously, it just feels like it. It doesn't help when your trying not to think about something, all you can do is think and think until all you want to do is blow you fucking brains all over your wall. These are troubling times, I think I need to scream, that may be the caffine talking but I'm not so sure. If I don't scream I'm definatly going to hit something, weither it be human or otherwise. Not without good reason, of course, but it will happen and when it does I'll feel better.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Tits Up And Nowhwere To Go
Blast me. Blast you. Blast this whole damn thing. (I would like to remind viewers that this is not aimed at anyone, it's just a wee rant...and not a good one at that.) Do you know how many guys have come on to me? Do you? In the past 2 years I've had roughly 7 guys come up to me and either ask for a kiss or ask me out. How many girls you ask (probably not, but this is a goddamn rant damnit), one, Ais. Now that's not the point I'm trying to make, that's a damn good thing. What I'm trying to ask is "Am I only attractive to the same Goddamn sex?" I'm not homophobic (as a dead leg will prove, trust me), in fact I'm very open minded about how people live thier lives, it's not my place to say different. But I just find it annoying now, like I said before I'm happy with Ais and this isn't some desperste advertisement for women but how do you be attractive to the opposite sex. All this shit has made me paranoid, I might live the rest of my years in a cave...
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
I'm Drunk...Again
It's sad but true folks. Helps me think, if you can believe that, if you can't...well don't, as simple as that. I could write anything on this blog and no-one would care, no-one looks at it anymore, previous posts must have either scared them off or pissed them off, either way I'll die happy knowing I influenced peoples lives even in the smallest of ways. Not, I must note, that I intend on dying anytime soon.
This is a low point, I wish I knew what was going on, how people felt, what I have to do. I try not to dwell on these things but it's hard when they concern someone very close. Some may know what I'm on about, through experience of this kind of flux, or just a very educated guess. Come to think of it, who the fuck doesn't know, everyone has shitty points in there lives, I just wanted to have them when I was 50, that's all.
All things considered things are looking up, at least that's what I like to think, the truth may want to correct me on that if need be, but I'm firm...(heeheehee)...in my belief that thing will get better soon. I would normally say cause I'm putting a lot of effort in, but if that was the case it wouldn't be a natural reaction thus a lie, of sorts. No, for once I'm taking it easy, I'm motivated by some very helpful advice.
Enough of this drunken ramble, the spell checker can only do so much. Night y'all.
This is a low point, I wish I knew what was going on, how people felt, what I have to do. I try not to dwell on these things but it's hard when they concern someone very close. Some may know what I'm on about, through experience of this kind of flux, or just a very educated guess. Come to think of it, who the fuck doesn't know, everyone has shitty points in there lives, I just wanted to have them when I was 50, that's all.
All things considered things are looking up, at least that's what I like to think, the truth may want to correct me on that if need be, but I'm firm...(heeheehee)...in my belief that thing will get better soon. I would normally say cause I'm putting a lot of effort in, but if that was the case it wouldn't be a natural reaction thus a lie, of sorts. No, for once I'm taking it easy, I'm motivated by some very helpful advice.
Enough of this drunken ramble, the spell checker can only do so much. Night y'all.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Doubt Has No Place In Drunkeness
It's true. When you're drunk you feel what you should feel, not the doubt and loathing that soberity brings (that may not be a word but who the fuck cares). All the doubts you have about yourself, your relationships, your future vanish in the blink of an eye when you become drunk and you then feel better about the world. I for one, whom is drunk at the moment, feel a lot better knowing that my true feelings are that of love and compassion towards all who I know. I don't care if this post makes me look like an arse because quite frankly I seem to be the first one to announce my positive feelings on my blog instead of moping and just being a general fuckwit. Cheer up, all those who read this post, the world isn't ending yet so get off you backsides and do something, whether it be for a loved one or just some you like or even yourself, do it now and feel good that you've done it. Thank you.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Come Work At "Gav's Fun-o-rama", Formely "Gav's Slave-o-rama"
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed accordingly to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you can buy better clothes, and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor; you are able to come to work.
Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of the three minutes an alarm will sound, the toilet paper will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for their lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal sized people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average form. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a slim fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company.
We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management
It is advised that you come to work dressed accordingly to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you can buy better clothes, and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor; you are able to come to work.
Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of the three minutes an alarm will sound, the toilet paper will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for their lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal sized people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average form. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a slim fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company.
We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management
I Go By Many Names...
| Gavin Christopher Patterson's Aliases |
 Your fashion designer name is Gavin Paris Your socialite name is Rabbi Johnson Glasgow Your fly girl / guy name is G Pat Your detective name is Dragon Hillhead Your barfly name is Marzipan Beer Your soap opera name is Christopher Kersland Your rock star name is Yorkies Bullet Your Star Wars name is Gavoti Patais Your punk rock band name is The Bored Oblong |
The Amazing Meganame Generator
Friday, August 04, 2006
Back On Track, Baby
I feel unusually empowered lately, I've been a right dipshit for the past couple of weeks. As before, if you don't know what I'm talking about then you ain't gonna but take my word for it, I'm a changed man...obviously not completely, I'm still as lovable as ever. Fuck, I've even been listening to cheery goddamn music, it's fan-fucking-tastic. Have a good one y'all.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
"Bodies In The Loft"
As I search for the source of these events,
I have no words to say in my defence.
My shoulders hunch with this ever increasing doubt,
I still wonder what the fuck it's all about.
(Chorus)
So why am I plagued with this,
Oh doesn't it suck, well tough luck.
Why am I plagued with this,
Oh doesn't it suck, this bad luck.
My fingers were crossed as they fell off,
As far as I know I've got no bodies in the loft.
It seems to me that this ain't fair,
I can't find no solutions anywhere.
(Chorus)
And so continues this degradation of my soul,
Man, I'm losing control, I need more alcohol.
As I delve deeper into my depression,
Almost hopeing for the positive impression.
There's a part of me who fights it all,
Oh, there's a part of me who hopes I fall, in the end.
This karmic retribution could prove to be my soul's evolution,
But why it needs it still fills me with confusion.
Now I know you got to take all o'life, the good and the bad,
But the past few weeks have been the worst I've ever had.
(Chorus)
Written and composed by Harrison and Me
I have no words to say in my defence.
My shoulders hunch with this ever increasing doubt,
I still wonder what the fuck it's all about.
(Chorus)
So why am I plagued with this,
Oh doesn't it suck, well tough luck.
Why am I plagued with this,
Oh doesn't it suck, this bad luck.
My fingers were crossed as they fell off,
As far as I know I've got no bodies in the loft.
It seems to me that this ain't fair,
I can't find no solutions anywhere.
(Chorus)
And so continues this degradation of my soul,
Man, I'm losing control, I need more alcohol.
As I delve deeper into my depression,
Almost hopeing for the positive impression.
There's a part of me who fights it all,
Oh, there's a part of me who hopes I fall, in the end.
This karmic retribution could prove to be my soul's evolution,
But why it needs it still fills me with confusion.
Now I know you got to take all o'life, the good and the bad,
But the past few weeks have been the worst I've ever had.
(Chorus)
Written and composed by Harrison and Me
Monday, July 24, 2006
The Karma Are Coming, The Karma Are Coming
Bad karma has been following me around like a bad smell lately, (not that I haven't had a bath). I will not tell you why I think that is cause this is a blog with a few secrets, so there. But seriously, I've been too hot outside due to bad decisions, just stubbed my to which resulted in my nail being broken off, and the past few days in general haven't been very good. I'm a very strong believer in karma. "My name is"...Gavin.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Flat-Lined
I love it when a plan comes together, that's why I hate my current situation. I have no money, I have no job, and I need £1000 for the first of August...plus I'm going away for a week.... something will turn up, I doubt it though.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
The Well Dried Up
Damn, money's annoying. It's sooo good but very annoying. We need it for everything and spend it on nothing then when we need it for something we don't have it cause of the amount of nothing we just bought. Quite a pickle indeed, but we always find a way round it, we must though the "way" may not make itself claer for a good long while...that's kinda depressing.
Monday, June 26, 2006
The Cycle Continues
Life is extreamly fleeting. You could be fine one minute and 6' under the next, but hey, we'll come back as something else anyway, right? It's just so fucked up, I sometimes wish there wasn't this rencarnation thing just so we didn't have to live through this fiasco over and over again. What's the point of life, we get born, we get older, we get frailer, we die, a never ending cycle of pain and misery that never stops...ever. There are very few things in life that make me truely happy but living just happens to be one of them, and the living of those who I love. I haven't ever bought into the whole "Buddhist Nirvana" thing, it's all a load of tripe, it's just like "Heaven and Hell", no-one and nothing has the right to judge me on wether i lived a virtuous life or not, nor do I need "enlightenment". I would thank you not to make any "But aren't you God?" remarks, thank you.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
*Sigh* Not This Again
Prize-giving sucks ass! I can't be bothered going in just to recieve pieces of paper and books I've already read. I'll find a way to get out of it, don't you worry, I'll find a way...Damn, that's right, my mum wants to go...shit. Time for an angry mood swing. *Swings the cat* Glad that's over...
Sunday, June 18, 2006
The Following Post May Shock Our Younger Readers
That little fucker better keep the fuck away or his own fucking mother won't be able to recognise them after I'm done. I swear to God Himself that they have crossed the fucking line this time and has been for a while, one more slip up and the cunt will pay dearly. This post applys to one person and unless you feel you've warrented this from me it is not you.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Sorting It Out
Everyone who has a problem with me comment here and I'll get back to you...seriously, just tell me what your problem is. If you don't you're a big baby eater...just trying to provoke a reply as I know you won't, you know how it is.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Straight To Hell I Shall Fall
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's" Inferno Hell Test
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Very Low |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Very Low |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | Very High |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | Moderate |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | High |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | High |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | Very High |
| Level 7 (Violent) | High |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | Very High |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | High |
Take the Dante's" Inferno Hell Test
Monday, June 12, 2006
Time Limits
I hate time limits!!! I like a challenge as much as the next guy but why give us a cetain amout of time to do something. Sometimes other people set the limits knowingly or it's all down to circumstance, it's sooo fucking annoying. I need more time to get stuff done, whatever it is, and I don't intend on speeding things up...E.V.E.R!!! I work plenty for the things I want, all I ask for is a little time to get it done right, that is all.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Angry Drunk...Me?
I'm beginning to see my ugly side when I drink alcohol, I'm sooo fucking sorry if I've been short with you while drinking lately, I've just had some stuff on my mind. God I feel like such a fucking 'tard. I know having things on my mind is no excuse to treat you like shit, random people (you'll know who you are if I've talked to you about this). The best thing to do would be to keep me away from alcohol or stay away from me if I look a little grumpy. Again I apologise...sorry.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Show Me The Money
I swear to God they're holding out on me. I want my money and they seem to think it's a good idea to hold it back until I'm a jibbering reck, shaking a just the thought of a £5 note. It's a Goddamn conspiracy that has lead me to believe the "system" was created to screw me out of some hard earned cash, those bastards.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
"It's Alive!!!!"
This blog has turned into some what of a monster, that was not the original intention. But now that it's gotten this far I figure why stop. Some of these posts have been extreamly harsh on some individuals and though I feel bad about some of them, others should get the message across. I may have something nice to say on this blog...someday, about something, somewhere at sometime. But until then hold tight.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
The Wicked World Of Wandom...Sorry
Just to comment on the amount of random comments that have been appearing in blogs of late, all I ask is why? I have seen a few that have been used to distill a bad situation but some of them go too far. For instance, from a random selection "PANCAKES", why? What's with the seemingly unending randomness that seems to be absorbing our lives. Also taking that and turning it into a conversation piece, not the example I used thankfully, but others that can only aggravate the situation it's attempting to deal with. I apologies again for the "random" title...
Guilty Until Proven Even Guiltier
Assumption is a terrible thing. You should never do it as it pisses some of us off. I personally don't like it when somebody accuses me of something I haven't done, that just happens to be one of my buttons as *cough* some of you may know. You random accusers should be taken outside and shot...repeatedly...in the head. I'm not particularly angry at the moment (Dave), just thought I'd post now and not run the risk of saying something I'd regret if I was then calmed down.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Shock And Awe
I'm...stunned. I thought WWII was bad but that was brutal. I'm sorry but I just have to laugh at how spiteful some of you people are, it's almost sick. Fair play to you who can restrain yourselves, I know how hard that can be. But who made up this god-awful "sides" business? That's the sort of thing we dealt with in primary school.
As always from your loving correspondent,
God
As always from your loving correspondent,
God
Sunday, June 04, 2006
The End Is Nigh!
Are you ready? No, neither am I. But it doesn't matter because something always comes up. Some of you may disagree but is there any point of your life you have done absolutely nothing? I'm not talking about a week or two of not doing anything in paticular because that happens to me on a regular basis. I'm talking about oppotunitys coming up and getting you on your way such as a part-time job or just getting a shit load of money to get you started. You may need to work somewhat to get these things but in the end you know that you have things in hand and you can support yourself without asking your parents for help. Trust me, they'll hold it against you then ask for a favor when it's least needed.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
On A Brighter Note...
School is done, summer is here, most of us are happy. Celebrate for we are stepping out into the "Big Scary World" where we will make our fortunes, make life changing decisions, and start this crazy mess all over again...mabye. I know not of your hopes and dreams yet I can tell they'll get you into as much trouble as you expect them to and fear not, we're all going to meet in Hell so no point crying over the "goodbyes".
Now for something unexpected and personal (which I hope to make a regular segment). As this is my last post of May I will give a brief summary, I started my blog, I challenged a friend's story (sorry Al), I got depressed a lot, got angry at numerous people, made plans to move out near the end of the year, ranted sooo much (again I apologise), hated technology (for a short time), and realised vodka is pure evil in a bottle. More next month, later y'all.
Now for something unexpected and personal (which I hope to make a regular segment). As this is my last post of May I will give a brief summary, I started my blog, I challenged a friend's story (sorry Al), I got depressed a lot, got angry at numerous people, made plans to move out near the end of the year, ranted sooo much (again I apologise), hated technology (for a short time), and realised vodka is pure evil in a bottle. More next month, later y'all.
Down A Peg Or Eight
A friend has pointed out that my blog has become preachy of late. This blog has no doubt annoyed some people and for that I apologise, but these thing have to be said. We can't carry on looking the other way when something turns nasty, some problems have to be delt with head on...in fact, don't bother your backsides, everything smoothes over in the end right?
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Rent-A-Judas: 555 LYINGSHIT
Just to add to what I said about lying in general, it is a despicable act to pretend to like someone, in either friendship or something more serious. Even being extreamly nasty to someone, though harsh, is better than a fake friendship. Random people of this world whom it concerns, you know who you are and so do I, get that through your thick skulls!!!
Saturday, May 27, 2006
I Like The Cut Of Your "Fib"
Lying isn't always bad, is it? We tell lies everyday,
"Did you eat that bus, Timmy?
No Mum, I'm diabetic."
Some are stupid, some are serious and some are needed. But becoming lost in them can be an easy thing to do, and decieving people for personal gain is just uncalled for. I tell lies all the time, but only the "stupid" ones, like I'm a nice guy or something...
"Did you eat that bus, Timmy?
No Mum, I'm diabetic."
Some are stupid, some are serious and some are needed. But becoming lost in them can be an easy thing to do, and decieving people for personal gain is just uncalled for. I tell lies all the time, but only the "stupid" ones, like I'm a nice guy or something...
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Bring Back The Wheel, It Didn't Need A Fucking "On" Switch
Stupid fucking technology. It gets better to make our lives easier yet it carries on screwing us over until we make it better again. Don't get me wrong, I love all the gadgets and gizmos that I posses but when they start acting up it pisses me off, for example, MSN, which has taken it upon itself to fuck about with numerous people in different ways, is high on my "list". Computers make time for us, not the other way around dammit.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
When The Wit Went AWOL
Certain people's sense of humour is hard to appreciate. I understand that everyone is different but sometimes jokes are just uncalled for, for instance, after a family grievance or a difficult break-up. You end up with one of those awkward silences that can either be filled with someone being cracked or a string of nervous coughs and very little eye contact. Don't get me wrong, I've told a few myself and I'm very ashamed, but when it comes down to it, the mouth should be kept shut just in case the regretable should be uttered.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Insane Is Just Another Word For Happy
Most of you must think by now I'm a little screwed in the head, hey, so do I. I've just never been good at the whole "express yourself" thing, and don't intend on learning...anytime soon. But I look at it like this, unless I think you can help me with the problem I currently have, you don't need to know. Some would disagree and I respect that but I don't see how telling your problems to someone who obviosly doesn't care is going to help.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Doubt, Doubt Everywhere But Not A Drop To Spare
It's worse than hate, anger and depression rolled into one, with a side order of self-pity. In fact, it probably is all those things. It eats away at you, mabye not constantly, but over time it really makes itself known. You could feel fine one minute and down the next. A few people I know are like this, including me though I tend not to let on, so I understand how it can be so emotionally debiliating. This is probably one of the only posts that has portryed how I'm feeling at the time of posting but hey, there's always light at the end of the tunnel...wait, that's FIIIIIIRRRRRE!!!!!
Friday, May 19, 2006
Hell Hath No Fury
Just don't piss them off, they will break you, not just physically. I'm not just talking about the women in your lives, but any, they have Satan on there side, I know that 'cause I talk to her. Sorry gentlemen, but God is on vacation to your pleas and prayers until you sort out your own messes. Most of you should know all this anyway...right?
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Standing To Attention...You Know What I Mean
An interesting point came up tonight, do all men mentally undress women they like? Just a thought, cause I have to say, I don't...no gay jokes ya 'tards. I'm just a little lazy in the head, which you should know by now. I suppose it would depend how horny you are, though for a guy that ain't far from our minds, am I right? Yes, I am. Can't really comment on how a female mind works, I would guess much the same, though they don't let on. (I can just imagine the beating I'm going to get for this post, I could always skip country...) Anyway, just felt like chatting 'cause I'm in a "good" mood.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Fear And Loathing In Your Own Head
Paranoia is a terrible thing. It makes you do stupid things that you end up regretting, then you do further stupid things to right the wrong. It's a slippery slope, one which most of us slide down on a regular basis, yes, even me. But I have no smart-ass solution for it, as I most often do, just learn to deal with it I suppose. (God, I need a drink.)
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
The Day Time Stood Still...But Only Because The Bus Was Late
Time seems to move really slowly when you have nothing to do, yet when you're doing something you like, it moves faster than a buttered bullet. My theory is this, time was a concept created to drive the lazy, unimaginative people of this world insane, and the energetic, fun-loving types paranoid. People getting so bored they do anything for kicks and others using scedules for everything they do so they don't miss a minute. The rest of us, who don't really give a damn, watch as the world falls down around our ears 'cause the insane and paranoid turn out to be running the show and don't know which way to run. Oh well, just another day in paradise...
Monday, May 15, 2006
Do You Read "The Sun"?
What I'm asking is, do you believe everything you are told? I bet you do, mabye not everything, I hear you say, but most. Anything that sounds like juicey gossip and you're all over it like butter on toast, even if it doesn't concern you. This post may offend people when they read it and i'm glad, it means that you are one of these people and your admitting to your problem. Get a life, there's tons of hobbies out there for you to enjoy, so leave what everyone else gets up to them and deal with your own fucked-up lives. I am sorry for you people that don't, in fact, like butter on your toast.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
That's It, Now It's Impersonal
I've read a lot of other blogs and I,ve noticed that you talk about things that have actually happened to you. I apologise if my blog is a little impersonal but, meh, it's mine and you have to live with it...not literally. Most of the stuff in this blog touches on matters that I feel something needs to be said about, and not by you "la-de-da, always has a smart-ass come-back" intelligent types, you know who you are. I may, in the near future, blog something about me but until then keep waiting...
Friday, May 12, 2006
And I Have Super Powers
| Your Superhero Profile |
 Your Superpower is Nanotechnology Your Weakness is Jealousy Your Weapon is Your Glue Arrows Your Mode of Transportation is Pony |
Oh, By The Way, I'm Evil
| You Are 64% Evil |
 |
How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howevilareyouquiz/">How Evil Are You?
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Life Through A Beer Glass
Being drunk's great, you can't argue with me on that point. You seem to think you understand the world better, that you can express youself better, and that everyone's attracted to you...well some of us, not me though, honest. But at the same time everything seems numb, even your hearing phases in and out (in some cases, your brain), and you feel like you're in a dream of sorts. God that's cool. But remember these words which i got from a friend "Even when drunk, the words "Don't hit on my boy/girlfriend" means the same." -Jennifer Stirling
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Do The Quiz...Dooo It
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Do you miss me?
33. Do you think i miss you?
34. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Do you miss me?
33. Do you think i miss you?
34. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?
What I'm Really Like
| Advanced Global Personality Test Results
|
personality/'>http://similarminds.com">personality tests by similarminds.com
Making Money And Moving Out
Admit it, there's been a few points in your life when you've felt like a Sim, hasn't there? For most of the people that read this blog they are going to leave school for good at the end of this year and venture out into the big scary world. Dammit, I'm one of them...oh well, looks like I have to find a job, make money, move out of "Mom's", get a flat, make friends, go to the toilet when I need to...all that jazz. And so will you, but come up with a clever plan, like some people, and you will find yourself on "Easy Street".
Monday, May 08, 2006
They Feed Us, Clothe Us, Comfort Us...So Why Do They Have To Nag?
You guessed it folks, I'm talking about the wonderful inventions called parents and guardians. Life throws enough hardships at us without them on our back telling us what to do all the time, don't you agree? Exams, for instance, you may (or may not) study your ass off for them and yet they expect more. Sure they say they just want you to get the best you can get, but a little encouragment would also go a long way. Don't settle for the nagging and lectures, switch off and phase them out until they go away, then go ask what's for dinner ten minutes later, that works a treat.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
A Dry Hand To A Drowning Man
If you see a friend in need of help, do you just walk on? Would you help if you didn't actually like the person? Well..., I don't actually care what your answer is 'cause you should help the people you know no matter what the case is. But if you have nothing nice to say or do, keep it shut or I'll make it shut for ya. Thanks, and remember these words 'cause it's most likely I could kick your ass.
Are You Sitting Comfertably, Well Tough, We're Going For A Jog
It pisses me of how many health-freaks are out there, I mean who seriously needs exercise? Not me, most probably not you either, so someone please explain to me the importance of exercise.
"Why exercise? If you're healthy, you don't need it and if you're sick, you shouldn't do it" -Henry Ford
Listen to the man, you know he makes sense.
"Why exercise? If you're healthy, you don't need it and if you're sick, you shouldn't do it" -Henry Ford
Listen to the man, you know he makes sense.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
For Whom It Does Not Concern
I have very many different thoughts and feelings about very different people, for those whom it may concern, please visit "i'manoseycuntwithtoomuchtimeonmyhands.blogspot.com",
for those it doesn't concern, have a look anyway, you might just learn something.
for those it doesn't concern, have a look anyway, you might just learn something.
"Snow Day" The Real Story
Some of you may have read the epic "Snow Day" adventure on another certain blog, but it only told the story from a mortal's eyes, here's what really happened...
G woke one morning to find the land covered in frosty white snow, much to his disbelief. He wasn't up ten minutes before he was out the door and out into the frostbitten landscape. He waded through the snow, up the Hill, to gather troops for the long journey ahead and so ventured to E's lodging. E willingly followed G to the frozen plains of Botanica where a fierce battle was taking place between the Hillheeds and the barbarians from the north. The battle was long and there were defects to and from either sides, though G and E stayed true to there clan. During the fight, G was blinded by a ball of searing pain and then ambushed, but all was not lost as he fought back with ferocious might...and ran away, to plan his next attack.The fighting soon ended after that though and all was well, G went back to E's lodge for a celebratary feast.
G and E parted ways however, and G was sent to gather yet more troops. He ventured further over the Hill to the hostile, yet familiar, dwelling of A. There he met OO, and they both went to fetch A together. A joined the team and they all made their way back to Botanica where the effects of war were clear. There they found a relic of the old war, a giant ice platform. Instantly G proclaimed himself "God of Snow and Ice" but his followers, A and OO, became jealous. They tried to overthrow the new "God" but to no avail. But then more mortals arrived, M,N,L and R, and they joined in the fight for power. There final tactic was to destroy the ice platform itself but it was too tough for there mortal "might". Then E returned and he betrayed G by formulating a plan to move the platform and force G to fall. This tactic was successful, but no sooner had the "Snow God" fallen, the mortals fought to take his place. G stared as they competed with each other for the power they couldn't have possibly controlled. In the end, though, the platform was left to be consumed by the ages and E parted ways with G and the others for good. The party went for supplies at the Mor-e-Sons market where they stocked up for the journey ahead.
A lead us to a place where the snow was still untouched by the brutality of war, and we set up camp. G found the remains of an old snow fort which he suggested could be used for...well, a fort. A took this as a declaration of war and split the band into teams, on G's side was N and R, and on A's side was M,L and OO. The building of the fort was a task but with N and R's help (and some stolen ideas) it was done in no time. In the first round my snow mascot, Timmy, was mecilessly cut down and so G destroyed there's, whatever it's name was. The fist round went to G's team due to mightier firepower. The second also went to G's team, and it won them the war but at a great cost, Timmy, G's fortress, and A's sanity. G secured a hostage and the remaining supplies which snapped A out of his delusionment, thereafter they drank together in friendship. Then L fell to the frostbite and A went insane again so G ended there lives mercifully. He then dissappeared into the night, never to be seen again...
G woke one morning to find the land covered in frosty white snow, much to his disbelief. He wasn't up ten minutes before he was out the door and out into the frostbitten landscape. He waded through the snow, up the Hill, to gather troops for the long journey ahead and so ventured to E's lodging. E willingly followed G to the frozen plains of Botanica where a fierce battle was taking place between the Hillheeds and the barbarians from the north. The battle was long and there were defects to and from either sides, though G and E stayed true to there clan. During the fight, G was blinded by a ball of searing pain and then ambushed, but all was not lost as he fought back with ferocious might...and ran away, to plan his next attack.The fighting soon ended after that though and all was well, G went back to E's lodge for a celebratary feast.
G and E parted ways however, and G was sent to gather yet more troops. He ventured further over the Hill to the hostile, yet familiar, dwelling of A. There he met OO, and they both went to fetch A together. A joined the team and they all made their way back to Botanica where the effects of war were clear. There they found a relic of the old war, a giant ice platform. Instantly G proclaimed himself "God of Snow and Ice" but his followers, A and OO, became jealous. They tried to overthrow the new "God" but to no avail. But then more mortals arrived, M,N,L and R, and they joined in the fight for power. There final tactic was to destroy the ice platform itself but it was too tough for there mortal "might". Then E returned and he betrayed G by formulating a plan to move the platform and force G to fall. This tactic was successful, but no sooner had the "Snow God" fallen, the mortals fought to take his place. G stared as they competed with each other for the power they couldn't have possibly controlled. In the end, though, the platform was left to be consumed by the ages and E parted ways with G and the others for good. The party went for supplies at the Mor-e-Sons market where they stocked up for the journey ahead.
A lead us to a place where the snow was still untouched by the brutality of war, and we set up camp. G found the remains of an old snow fort which he suggested could be used for...well, a fort. A took this as a declaration of war and split the band into teams, on G's side was N and R, and on A's side was M,L and OO. The building of the fort was a task but with N and R's help (and some stolen ideas) it was done in no time. In the first round my snow mascot, Timmy, was mecilessly cut down and so G destroyed there's, whatever it's name was. The fist round went to G's team due to mightier firepower. The second also went to G's team, and it won them the war but at a great cost, Timmy, G's fortress, and A's sanity. G secured a hostage and the remaining supplies which snapped A out of his delusionment, thereafter they drank together in friendship. Then L fell to the frostbite and A went insane again so G ended there lives mercifully. He then dissappeared into the night, never to be seen again...
That's right folks, Hell froze over
Hey I'm Gavin, as some of you may know (and would rather forget). Just starting a blog to "join the crowd" so to speak. Mostly cause I come up with witty stuff while no-one's around, but also to get stuff off my chest that's getting me down (that's very rare though). The name of this blog is a mystery to me, I just thought it sounded good at the time. I may not post often but I hope you enjoy what I do.
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